English influence on and enthusiasm for champagne is profound. Wonderful that an elegant man such as Michael Mackenzie, with some help from Jean-Herv?nd Laurent Chiquet, makes champagne. Champagne is an English specialisation: Frenchmen tend not to write about it That is left to the English. In the 18th century, Lady Mary Wortley Montagu's ballad The Lover, for example, you find the fine line: "And we meet, with champagne and a chicken, at last."Well, that was our idea, too.
Again, we did it underwater and mused on the qualities of champagne. A crystal-clear mystery; evidence both of man's ingenuity and his need for pleasure A sparkling white wine made from predominantly red grapes A luxury product made in an economically depressed area So many oddities, so much confusing sex. And then the ultimate paradox - the bleak region is "la" Champagne, and the gorgeous bubbly wine is masculine Well, tant pis At least the car, la voiture, is feminine. TRAVELLER'S GUIDEGETTING THEREReach Calais on Eurotunnel (08705 35 35 35; ) from Folkestone, or by sea from Dover on Hoverspeed (08705 240 241; ), P&O Ferries (08705 20 20 20; ) or SeaFrance (08705 711 711; ).STAYING AND EATING THEREHotel les Berceaux, Epernay (00 33 3 26 55 28 84; ) Doubles from €66 (£47). It has fixed up an intriguing loan-repayment deal with the Barclays banking group and it would be a pity if lack of resources prevented it from keeping its side of the bargain.The portfolio has lost most of the £5,000 it invested in Profile And there seems little hope of its getting its money back.
The group appears in need of more capital and I would expect news of shareholders being tapped for more cash - or asset sales. I do not regard either as short-term punts, so I am prepared to bide my time.Profile Media remains my disaster share. Their performance tends to underline the difficulty of alighting on suitable newcomers. I am beginning to feel that something of a shake-up would not come amiss, as I find myself tolerating a few long-time laggards.My two latest buys, Georgica and Goals Soccer Centres, have yet to cover themselves in glory. The Allied action, which admittedly has been a long time coming, also influenced another constituent around which speculative rumours often swirl, brewer Scottish & Newcastle.Overall, I remain relatively content with most constituents, although, as I have observed in the past, I am not entirely happy with some displays.